Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Why we're here
By SG2.0
Look, I've been a Simmons fan for years. We all have.
But in a small way, Simmons ruined the careers of all the guys, all the supposed "sports journalists" that came before him and after him.
While I was in college, writing what were supposed to be humorous articles in both the sports section of my student paper and on the pages of a now-defunct website, I was often accused of "just copying Simmons."
At the height of the Sports Guy's popularity (2002 is when I believe he and Page 2 peaked), readers and friends would often frown upon any type of "sports humor" that I would throw out, insisting that I was simply "attempting to be a Simmons clone."
I was certainly not the only one at that time that got that jab thrown their way, despite most of the material being both original and occasionally funny.
Now there is no doubt that Simmons was as unique as they come when he hopped on board with ESPN after creating a start-up blog (ahead of his time in that regard). But he certainly wasn't the first writer to use humor in his sports columns. He was just the best there was at the time ... and he still does provide a boatload of watered-down material.
Somewhere along the line, however, he inexplicably got credited with this new wave of sports journalism and anyone else who attempted to use humor in a sports column was simply writing a Simmons column with a different byline.
There are some people, like myself, that believe the majority of sports columns should always include some sort of lame attempt at humor. After all, sports is the toy department (thank you cliché dictionary).
I guess what I'm trying to get at is that there is plenty of room for more great Bathroom Reading Material (BRM) on the net. For me and millions of other office space types, our daily 1-2 shits (or in my case 10-12) are not complete without something to read while wasting an ungodly amount of time and effort (Push!...Push!).
Typically, Simmons fits the bill for this lame type of "literature." But I need more bang for my bomb. More drama for my dump.
I've tried to do this column thing before on the Internet, while blatantly trying to avoid "sounding like Simmons," even though, for better or worse, my writing style is much like his at times. Needless to say, my old column was about as entertaining as ESPN 2 on a Tuesday afternoon in February (enter "The Black Widow" shooting for the corner pocket).
So basically I've given up...and I'm not in the least bit ashamed to admit it.
I've given up trying to NOT be like Simmons.
I'm just trying to be an alternative. I'm trying to be a better version. I'm trying to be a version that has no qualms about bashing ESPN personalities and no qualms about writing more than two columns per week.
I'm trying to be the WCW to Bill Simmons' WWF ... but I think we all can see by the design of this site, that I'm currently knee deep in the WCW Robocop stage of my ascent ( i.e. YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhfAZ1VpkTE).
So if I truly am Eric Bischoff with a keyboard, bear with me. It may take days, months, years and possibly decades to topple the mighty Simmons.
But in the meantime, I hope this site provides you with a chronic diarrhea’s worth of BRM. 'Cause I think we all could use a little bit more.
By SG2.0
Look, I've been a Simmons fan for years. We all have.
But in a small way, Simmons ruined the careers of all the guys, all the supposed "sports journalists" that came before him and after him.
While I was in college, writing what were supposed to be humorous articles in both the sports section of my student paper and on the pages of a now-defunct website, I was often accused of "just copying Simmons."
At the height of the Sports Guy's popularity (2002 is when I believe he and Page 2 peaked), readers and friends would often frown upon any type of "sports humor" that I would throw out, insisting that I was simply "attempting to be a Simmons clone."
I was certainly not the only one at that time that got that jab thrown their way, despite most of the material being both original and occasionally funny.
Now there is no doubt that Simmons was as unique as they come when he hopped on board with ESPN after creating a start-up blog (ahead of his time in that regard). But he certainly wasn't the first writer to use humor in his sports columns. He was just the best there was at the time ... and he still does provide a boatload of watered-down material.
Somewhere along the line, however, he inexplicably got credited with this new wave of sports journalism and anyone else who attempted to use humor in a sports column was simply writing a Simmons column with a different byline.
There are some people, like myself, that believe the majority of sports columns should always include some sort of lame attempt at humor. After all, sports is the toy department (thank you cliché dictionary).
I guess what I'm trying to get at is that there is plenty of room for more great Bathroom Reading Material (BRM) on the net. For me and millions of other office space types, our daily 1-2 shits (or in my case 10-12) are not complete without something to read while wasting an ungodly amount of time and effort (Push!...Push!).
Typically, Simmons fits the bill for this lame type of "literature." But I need more bang for my bomb. More drama for my dump.
I've tried to do this column thing before on the Internet, while blatantly trying to avoid "sounding like Simmons," even though, for better or worse, my writing style is much like his at times. Needless to say, my old column was about as entertaining as ESPN 2 on a Tuesday afternoon in February (enter "The Black Widow" shooting for the corner pocket).
So basically I've given up...and I'm not in the least bit ashamed to admit it.
I've given up trying to NOT be like Simmons.
I'm just trying to be an alternative. I'm trying to be a better version. I'm trying to be a version that has no qualms about bashing ESPN personalities and no qualms about writing more than two columns per week.
I'm trying to be the WCW to Bill Simmons' WWF ... but I think we all can see by the design of this site, that I'm currently knee deep in the WCW Robocop stage of my ascent ( i.e. YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhfAZ1VpkTE).
So if I truly am Eric Bischoff with a keyboard, bear with me. It may take days, months, years and possibly decades to topple the mighty Simmons.
But in the meantime, I hope this site provides you with a chronic diarrhea’s worth of BRM. 'Cause I think we all could use a little bit more.
